I think I just saw someone hide a body.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize