I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
