How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
