Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
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