Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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