the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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