it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
