I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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