i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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