Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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