Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
