Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
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