I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Randomize
