Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Randomize
