Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
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