I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
