All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
