How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
