your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
