our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Randomize
