I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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