I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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