I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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