They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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