Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
