very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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