If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
