I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
