I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
