you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
