who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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