broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
Your message has been received by an unknown user. Picture verification required.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
