Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
