Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
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