But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
