also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
