he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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