did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
