i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
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