1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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