can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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