were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
