I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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