tell your sister to shave her snatch
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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