god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
