can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
They are going to name an STD after you.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
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