OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
