HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I can't turn off my feet"
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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