Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
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