You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
