she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
The struggles of a small town man whore
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
