I wanna passion pit in your ass
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
