If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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